That’s right….Prent’s mom has been added to the Wood and Prent writing team. I’m a 46 ( and holding) married mother of two who’s interests are health, fitness, horses, and music….and oh yeah I work in the law field. Now before you delete or swipe or whatever you crazy kids do on your new fangled contraptions, keep in mind Prent got his wit from somewhere, right?

For the first 40 years of my life, the health and fitness industry labeled avocados the devil. Satan. Bealzabob. Why? Because they are high in fat. Fat was bad. Fat made you fat. Fat made you unhealthy. Eating anything and everything labeled “no fat” was much better for you no matter how processed or unrecognizable the ingredients were. Looking bAck those were the good old days. Mindlessly eating lord knows what and avoiding avocados like the plague.

Now avocados have been reborn. They are so healthy they are the healthiest of the healthy. They contain plenty of vitamins,potassium, monounsaturated fatty acids ( which yes, are now healthy),fiber, and antioxidants. Cue the heavenly choir.

Now all of us folks eagerly trying to maintain or gain health are running to the market buying up avocados like it’s our job.  But here is why the are a pain in the ass: they are never ever ever ever perfectly ripe.

The Virgin avocado buyer enters the market bright-eyed and full of hope, eager to begin a healthy eating regimen and goes for the pretty green avocado. Wrong! Hard as a damn brick. Useless. Said virgin may even get his or her knife stuck into the fruit. Not fun.

Next time at bat, armed with a little knowledge, the ugly unidentifiable colored avocado is carefully selected. Super Wrong! Gross. Unless you enjoy brown mush. And really, who would?

And So it begins…the never ending search for the perfectly ripe avocado. Is this one too green? Is this one too whatever that color is? Too hard? Too soft? It’s stressful and a crap shoot really. Slicing into an avocado is like scratching a scratch ticket, you either win or lose and there is no happy medium. When you lose it is heartbreaking. You can almost taste that green deliciousness that is the avocado, but you are screwed. But when you win…..cue the heavenly choir.

There are other reasons avocados are a pain in the ass too, including, but not limited to, (did I mention I am a paralegal? It’s annoying, I can’t help myself) the fact that you have to eat the whole effing thing because leftovers go to shit fast …..and there is a severe choking risk if you choose to suck the meat off of the pit, but alas that is a topic  for another time.So good luck hunting you avocado eating mo fos!

–Momma Prent