With NFL season rapidly approaching, here is what your NFL team says about you as a person.
Bills

  • If you’re a bills fan you are definitely an alcoholic, definitely a psycho, and you definitely still talk about your high school playing days

Jets

  • You probably hate yourself and want everyone to know you hate yourself. That’s the only reason I can think for being a loyal supporter of such a putrid franchise

Dolphins

  • More than likely you are an older person who doesn’t realize that Don Shula doesn’t coach and Dan Marino ain’t walking through that door

Ravens

  • You like murderers (Ray Lewis), cry babys (John Harbaugh), and douchebags (Terrell Suggs). Not a great look.

Browns

  • I’m sorry 😩😩😩

Bengals

  • You are always the bridesmaid, never the bride. You’re like the broad in 27 Dresses. Always so close, but so far away from the promised land

Steelers

  • Kinda like a Dolphins fan, you are stuck in the past. Newsflash buddy, the steel curtain was like 40 years ago

Titans

  • I literally don’t know a single Titans fan so I’m kinda lost here

Texans

  • You are a person who sneaky likes the Patriots, but doesn’t want to admit it so you cheer for the team that is trying to copy them (Bill O’Brien, Romeo Crennell, Vince Wilfork, etc.)

Colts

  • You love finishing in second place

Jaguars

  • All 3 of you are real loyal and always think that you’re one year away and are always disappointed when the Jags finish 4-12 for the 10th straight year

Raiders

  • You love Halloween so you cheer for the Raiders so you have an excuse to dress up every Sunday

Chiefs

  • You live in Kansas City so what else do you have to do with your life?

Chargers

  • Real similar to the Bengals. You are a glutton for punishment so you love getting so close only to have your heart ripped out

 

Broncos

  • You love getting all toked out and reminding people that weed is legal in Denver and that John Elway is as close to God himself as you will ever see

49ers

  • You really miss Candlestick park and Jerry Rice. You also probably think Kaepernick has a chance to be a solid NFL QB. Spoiler alert: he sucks

Rams

  • When the Rams were in St. Louis, they had fans because it’s St. Louis so what else is there after baseball season? Now they are in LA so their like the 5th biggest draw in the town. Good move…..not

Seahawks

  • Most insufferable fan base maybe in all of sports. They’ve been relevant for like 5 minutes and think their swag. Shut up

Cardinals

  • The Cardinals are kinda swag tbh. So you’re probably a swell dude who I’d like to have a beer with

Lions

  • Dumpster Fire

Bears

  • Cheering for Jay Cutler has to be awful. I’m not even going to roast you because that’s a roast in and of itself

Packers

  • You walk around calling yourself an NFL owner because you have a 1% stake in the club. Relax chief.

Vikings

  • You’re probably a crazy bastard and a hell of a lot of fun to drink with. Kinda money

Redskins

  • You probably really thought RGIII was a savior (lol) and still blame Jay Gruden for benching him and ruining his Redskin career

Eagles

  • I don’t blame you for being angry. Your team sucks, your city sucks, you haven’t a good QB since Donovan McNabb.

Giants

  • You think Eli Manning is better than Tom Brady (lol) and you think that he’s a Hall of Famer which is so erroneous it hurts. Good luck with Bob Mcadoo calling the shots pal

Cowboys

  • Only a true hack job would cheer for an organization that has Tony Romo as their QB.

Panthers

  • Honestly the Panthers have been pretty successful since they came into the league in 1995, so you probably hopped on the bandwagon early and never hopped off

Saints

  • Will probably write in Drew Brees for President in all elections since that’s really the only time in their history that the Saints have been relevant

Falcons

  • Still probably rep your Mike Vick jersey and think that if he never got caught up in the whole dog fighting thing you would have multiple rings. Riiiiight.

Buccaneers

  • You have suffered through a lot of downs for just a few highs. Probably want a statue of Warren Sapp and are already clamoring about Jameis being an MVP.

And last but not least
Patriots

  • If you are a Pats fan you love winning, you love pissing people off, and you love cheering for the greatness that is Tom Brady
  • Best looking QB? ✔️
  • Best Coach? ✔️
  • Most Super Bowls since 2000? ✔️

Enough said.

–Prent

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