So in case you missed it, Ryan Lochte, swimmer extraordinaire was robbed at gunpoint in Rio over the weekend. Big shocker there huh? I honestly don’t know what the IOC expects when they send rich athletes to 3rd world countries. You thinks it all gonna be peaches and rainbows bud?! Absolutely not. These Olympics have been a complete dumpster fire since jump street. From human body pets washing up on the beach, to green swimming pools, to the Olympic Village living quarters, to this disaster. 

There has been one bright spot though. My girl Dafne Schippers from the Netherlands. Where has she been my whole life? Definition of a smoke. So hot it hurts. If she were a President, she’d be Baberaham Lincoln. That’s 100% fact.